Space Tumors

1 day after The Secret of the Semen...

Erect Buddha was floating in space, being, as his name implies, erect. His boner simply refused to leave him. He thought of millions of dead babies, but that aroused him even more.

He jizzed a little, using the semen to fly through the empty area. Suddenly, there was a bright flash. Buddha saw an ENORMOUS tumor flying at him. It was going 69,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles per second, and sexually crashed into Buddha.

He groaned in pleasure as it smashed into his rectum. A door opened on the side of it, and somebody stepped out.

Jasmine.

Insert "I thought you were dead" joke here.

"Buddha," she said. "We need your boner."

"Who are you!?" Buddha asked.

"Jasmine."

"Why do you need me?"

"You have the wisest penises of all."

"I have no penis."

"What about the semen?"

"I kept my urethras."

"Crap. Where are your penises?"

"Well, CHRIS CLUMBUS threw them into space when he drank my breast milk. We could look around."

So they did. After 69 days of erect searching, they found one. A shriveled Asian penis drifting around. Buddha grabbed the floating boner, and glued it back on with Jasmine's vaginal juices.

"I ask again Jasmine, why do you need me?"

"A mysterious, erect man runs the Tumorid Empire. When he started ejaculating tumors onto innocent civilians, we had sex with him. Then.. we found out that he didn't wear protection."

"Ghastly!"

"Indeed. We are in open rebellion. He's just too erect for us to beat alone. Get it? Beat?"

"Ha!"

"Anyways, we stole one of his Tumor Spaceships, and flew all around trying to find you."

"Where do I fit in? Ha. Fit in."

"The Emperor of Tumors has a secret library that only I and other WHORES know about. It is known as the Shrine of Shrektum. Great sex advice is stored there, and your highly adaptable boner can utilize it. Will you help us?"

"Well, you gave me my penis back. I'll do it!"

So he entered the Tumor Spaceship, and they flew off.

Jasmine, Buddha, and others engaged in a month-long orgy. Buddha chomped up boners and vaginas alike. Jasmine did the same with both pairs of lips. Dirty sanchez was constant. The orgy ended with their arrival at the borders of the Tumorid Empire. A web of semen had been woven, and they had to eat it all up. That process took a week, but they were no longer hungry when they ventured out.

A patrol flew out to meet them. Tumor warriors. Jasmine flung her brown breasts at them, spewing breast milk. Buddha assisted with his throbbing urethra. The guards fell. They searched the ship, and found other rebels. They were freed, and their boners rose up, pledging to fight for Jasmine.

Meanwhile...

Fetus-Banging Jones was not dead. "How?" he asked himself. He looked up and saw an erect penis standing over him. "You must unite the Erect Fellowhip for the good of the Empire. If you do, I shall forgive the fact that you forgot to rape the mothers of your banged fetuses," it jizzed at him. Jones nodded, and went off to save the Empire of the Tumorids.

He crept into the Room of the Golden Dildo, and saw the trapdoor through which Aladdin had killed him earlier. He jizzed up into it, and used his pubes as hooks. He crept up for a hundred yards, and reached the Tomb of the Erect Fellowship. It was made of pure gold, diamonds, and silver, and shaped like a penis. Jones jizzed into the jizz-slot, making the coffin tumorically open.

The Erect Fellowship bonered out of the coffin. Their erections had read Jones' mind. Badem knew very well what had to happen.

Back to the other boners...

They were engaging in a traditional orgy with their new members. Shroner, a new recruit, was pleasuring all at once with his bright green penis. Suddenly, the ship shook. The door dramatically opened, sending up a steamy form of semen. The Erect Fellowship walked in.

The battle commenced.

Jones went to Shroner. The green penis' meatus expanded by a 1000%, and devoured the erect adventurer.

Badem met Shrotum. Badem summoned the power of r34 LOTR, and destroyed Shrotum.

Birsab just masutrbated to some Castle Crashers, his little penis shooting out drips of green.

Martin was fighting his ultimate foe. Happy endings. Martin battled Robert Southey. The man's ye olde bear penis put up a fight. Martin was erect, but soon, his semen would be expended, and he would go flaccid. He summoned his inner Tormund Thunderfist, and bit off Southey's penis. He wailed, "Gadzooks! My penis! Zounds!" He died spurting bits of blood and semen.

Buddha was fighting Clumbus again. He was sexually beaten, and just let his anus be penetrated. Lee's Penis joined in on it too.

Then, there was Aladdin and Jasmine. The slamming of their genitals sent up sparks. During the combat, Aladdin yelled, "I thought I raped you to death!"

"Nope. I just went into a temporary sexual coma. Too much intercourse!" she replied.

"Why do you hate me? I thought you liked my Giga-jizz tactic!"

"You didn't even try to save me!"

"I'm sorry!"

"If you truly are, then make me orgasm!"

They stopped fighting, and Aladdin sat down. He tried to think of a way to make her orgasm, but for females, it was nearly impossible. "The Asian Rimjob!" he thought. Just as they were about to have intercourse, an ENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORMMOUS penis burst through Jasmine's chest. "The Emperor... that's not how you make babies!" she groaned with pleasure as she died.

"Father..," Badem said.

"Son," replied the Tumorical Emperor, Kadem Kris Kektic. "You have much to learn."

"What do you mean? My penis is perfect!"

"You were circumcised. That's a good start. Foreskin weighs down your penis, makes it slow. Yet, your penis isn't perfect. Mine is. Watch this."

Kadem stroked his rigid shaft once, sending out a tiny drop of pre-ejaculate. It landed on the ground, and created a supernova.

Buddha, Jasmine's corpse, and the surviving enemies were all purged from existence.

"You see, son? Insanely powerful, yet very controlled. The perfect penis."

"How can I perfect mine?"

"By going to the Shrine of Shrektum."

THE END BICTH

Hi again. Die. Brutally. Get your eyes impaled by irritated rat scrotums. Thank you. Go read The Shrine of Shrektum now. Fcuk you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH